Do you know Florida Man?

Do You Know Florida Man?

He’s not a real person; in fact he has occasionally been female. Florida man is a running joke, an internet meme that started back in 2013 because so many news stories about outrageously stupid acts began with “Florida man….” Now they even sell T-shirts, and he has his own website. Today Florida man epitomizes any random, weird, dumb or astonishingly stupid act that makes the news.

Though I occasionally object to the jokes cast on Florida by the rest of the country, it is hard to argue with headlines like these recent gems.

1. Florida Man Breaks into Home, Sucks on Sleeping Man’s Toes — January 7, 2020
   This intruder did more than break into a Bradenton man’s home. The story gets less amusing when you learn the intruder woke the man, claimed to be armed and attempted to fondle the resident. The pair fought, and the intruder fled.
   

2. Florida Man Sets Hospital Bed on Fire to Get Nurse’s Attention — February 28, 2020
   He used a red Bic lighter, according to police, because the nurses refused to bring him his clothing. He then used the fire and ensuing chaos to attempt an escape. He was caught, detained, and later jailed, but at least he got his clothes.
   

3. Florida Man Calls 911 Multiple Times Asking Deputies to Bring Him Ice Cream & Liquor — April 28, 2020
   This guy called 911 and when police arrived, he pointed to a twenty-dollar bill and asked them to run to the store for supplies. Instead, they warned him. But he called again the following day, this time demanding ice cream and liquor so they arrested him. Amazing what alcohol will do to your short-term memory.
   

4. Florida Man Drives Lawnmower on Highway – August 11, 2020
   Did you guess he was driving under the influence? The charges included going below the speed limit. Why was he using a mower to get home? Well, he has neither a car, nor a license, of course!
   

5. Naked Florida Man Steals Cop Car, Crashes into Wooded Area — January 21, 2020
   Officers approaching an unconscious man found one that was suddenly conscious and combative. He reached the police cruiser, driving off before veering from the highway and into an innocent tree.
   

6. Florida Man Receives Lifetime Disney Ban (after quarantining on Disney’s Discovery Island) — May 4, 2020
   While Disney was closed, a Florida Man self-quarantined on Disney’s Discovery Island in a “tropical paradise” until he was spotted by security. His paradise turned into trespassing charges and a lifetime ban from the most magical place on earth.

And my favorite … a positive Florida Man story …

7. Florida Man Rescues Puppy from Alligator — September 20, 2020
If you haven’t seen the video footage of this rescue, you must. When a four-foot gator snatched his tiny Cavalier King Charles spaniel puppy from the banks of a lake, the dog’s owner jumped into the lake, lifted the alligator’s head from the water and pried its jaws open, rescuing his dog, Gunner. Best of all, he did not blame the alligator for doing what gators do. His dog has made a full recovery, so everyone but the alligator is satisfied. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/RDm8xmmLxiw

Though I haven’t used Florida Man in my recent release, The Hunted Girls, the crazy Florida news influences my thrillers. And I enjoy all the trouble he gets into and am always impressed at what happens when you mix drugs, alcohol, and brutally hot weather.

This first appeared as a blog post on Female First